A few things you probably don't know about me. I'm an avid fan of the board game Axis and Allies. I like painting (Acrylic) in my spare time. I hold a professional Bar Tenders qualification in the state of New York. I have a black cat that I ADORE called Spooky and a white equally adored cat called Snowball. I enjoy photography and have a passion for home video. I was once recognized as the UK's expert on holding focus groups for the Cutlery industry. I am the current COB American Idol (amusing since I'm British and I can't sing). I collect all things Bombay Sapphire. One of my prized possessions is a silver peg from Tiffany & Co. And in case you didn't get the memo, I love to teach having recently won one of RIT's top awards for it. My greatest accomplishment however – managing to convince Rose Talbot (now Dr Rose Hair) to marry me – has been recently eclipsed by the birth of my daughter – Lillian Victoria Hair.
Other useless facts:
Other useless facts:
- I started teaching when I was 23 at Sheffield Hallam University.
- I've seen the sun rise over Cairo.
- I've sailed motor boats down the Thames.
- I scored the highest ever in a Technical Drawing class 97/100 at Cokethorpe School.
- I have a double jointed thumb on my left hand.
- I've witnessed huge thunder storms in Slovenia (ex-Yugoslavia).
- My mothers middle name is Cherlyn.
- I miss three things about the UK, the beer (never served warm, only ever cellar temperature), the cheese and the person who's middle name is Cherlyn.
- I've pulled a man from a wrecked car.
- I've asked people to stop kicking the back of my seat on a train.
- I've commiserated the loss of England in a football match to Portugal with an Iranian.
- I've caught ten fish with one line in less then ten seconds in the English Channel.
- I can eat an extreme sampler plate from the Dinosaur with only a knife and fork and leave nothing but bones.
- I placed a union jack on the woolly mammoth in the COB which stayed there for three whole months after I left in 2001.
- I've eaten smoked kipper for breakfast in the Royal Hotel in Scarborough (not to mention sped down its largest banister).
- Danced to Enjoy the Silence in Crystal Palace.
- Rowed Bow in the river Cherwell.
- Have taken tea in Venice's famous tea room.
- Fed starlings in my hand in Berlin.
- Fell for an older woman (the one I'm marrying).
- Hold a professional bar tenders certificate for the state of New York.
- Have directed and filmed both of my best friends wedding video's.
- Issued an SP30 whilst crossing the English/Scottish boarder with an American in tow.
- Used the lavatory in a 747 whilst crossing over Wales.
- Introduced Sir Winston Churchill (in person) to three Americans.
- Have jumped punts (failed to hit) off of bridges in Oxford.
- Unintentionally Jumped fences with horses on my third lesson.
- Met the Queens husband.
- Sold florescent condoms in a petrol station.
- Put out fires on a building site with a human chain of children carrying water under the age of 12 (I was 10).
- Have pushed my father fully clothed into a harbor in Teneriffe.
- Been slapped by a French teacher for insubordinance.
- Cried my heart out a thousand feet over the college of business.
- Been chased around a sky blue Jaguar for putting messy fingers on the windows (aged 5 1/2).
- Drank Moet before 10am on Christmas day for the last 8 years running.
- Watch Casablanca like it's the first time every time.
- Get a kick out of seeing a student move from a D to an A in less then three weeks.
- Melt instantly when my cat touches her nose to mine.
- Have lived in a pink cottage that was built 1000ad.
- Have taken ale in an establishment aged 400ad.
- Ive been dared to buy my own domain name.
- I am one of the worlds experts on holding focus groups for cutlery.
- Know what blast furnace slag is and how to market it to Saudi Arabia.
- Sing at every opportunity.
- Been to a Brian Ferry concert on my own, purposefully.
- Was bough sweet packages by cleaners at my first boarding school in the UK.
- Look great in drag (aged 12).
- Fallen in love with someone I shouldnt have.
- Seen nuclear silos in person.
- Witnessed the most remarkable son/daughter look alike (I'm marrying her).
- Waltzed with my grandmother.
- Painted Anglo American flags in Acrylic.
- Adore STRONG English Cheddar Cheese.
- Hate Heinz canned spaghettii.
- An abysmal speller.
- Broken several wooden spoons (not of my own choosing or during cooking procedures).
- Ran the four hundred metres barefoot and beat every competitor by 100 metres (back in 1984).
- Written personal diaries since 1985.
- Completed my PhD in 3 years, 12 days and ten hours.
- Walked barefoot in the sands off Sinai.
- Had a potential employer call me to tell me my CV needed improving!
- Make a MEAN Margarita.
- Play a mean end game in Chess.
- Love ballet and hate opera.
- Have a fondness for Hendricks Gin (served with cucumber of course).
- A fiercely competitive cook.
- Have forgotten the L in public for a mid term paper in college (amusingly so given my surname according to my professor).
- Mapped a secret garden in Frilford Heath Oxfordshire (aged 11).
- Can communicate in hidden musical codes. Di dii diii di doooo do doooooooo do.
- Own more Tiffany & Co products then anyone else I know bar one.
- Hate it when Americans tell me they've been to England and never left London.
- I've recieved second degree sunburn holidaying in Teneriffe (aged 14).
- Now moisturize daily with an spf 15.
- Drink three cups of coffee before functioning.
- Camped in a VW camper van in the New Forest.
- Introduced Johnnie Walker to an ex-KGB agent.
- Sang 'now the day is over' every Friday afternoon at the end of school from aged 8 till 10.
- Played a rockin' Mrs Lovett in Sweeny Todd The Barber.
- Enjoy a nice pint of Blandford Fly and Waggledance.
- Have eaten pigs ear (a very very small piece).
- Slept in the same bed as the Queen (Royal York, Toronto, 2004).
- Sat in the place where Winston Churchil proposed to his Clementine.
- Sung the A-Team theme song whistling around English country lanes in a red van at 60 mph.
- Prefer to play a sniper when ever I can.
- Put up an American Flag for my daughters first July 4th celebration figuring it actually did look rather good afterall.
- Make a wicked Indian Pale Ale.
- Make an even better Ginger enfuzed pale ale..
- Have pictures of Thatcher and Churchill on my walls and Im proud of them.
- Have assisted over 200 small companies in their marketing plans (class projects with exceptional students).
- Ive met a German with a photographic memory – and its scared the hell out of me when she repeated my NY state drivers licence to me two hours later (Id previously given her my credit card for a conference payment).
- Ive put together my own water irrigation system. And it works to this day.
- Celebrate July 3rd – just to be mischevious.
Things I want to accomplish by the time I am 50:
Visit Reykjavik and drink iced vodka in the Geysir.
Own an infinity lane pool.
A small infantry division of red headed children.
Build an adult tree house.
Obtain my private pilots license.
Sail my own 60ft Yatch to the British Virgin Islands.
Learn to play the piano.
Start an Alpaca / Ostrich breeding farm.
Safari South Africa.
Cruise the Panama Canal.
Sail White Sands on a land yatch.
Meet the Queen.
Build an underground bunker.
Make my own Beer.
Become a master somlier.
Own a picture signed by Sir Winston Churchill.
- Make my own wooden furniture.
- Ride a donkey in Mongolia.
- Eat deep fried scorpion.
- Sleep on a rubber dingy in one of those fake lakes corporate America loves so much (you know the ones).
- Throw a pajama party for Faculty at the college of business.