Dr. Neil Hair

So, having recently estolled the special relationship England has in my mind with Canada I came across an article from the BBC reflecting on Prime Minister Brown's position on UK foreign policy (the BBC is by far my favourite news site DESPITE the recent decision to pursue advertising as a means of generating revenue). I wanted to share because it reinforced a comment I make to most of my students at some stage when we discuss international marketing and the UK-US bond. When we 'say' we have a 'special relationship' what does that 'really' mean? Does this ever go beyond the 'Ive been to America – because Ive been shopping in New York' or the 'Ive been to England because Ive been shopping in London' crowd? For those doubters out there the following extract may well solidify the conviction – it certainly shocks most of my students when they hear it for the first time:

"When considering the relationship a British prime minister must have with the United States, it must never be forgotten that there is a not-so-secret tie binding the US and UK together. It is the agreement, renewed only in the past year, under which the United States and Britain swap information on nuclear weapons and Britain buys US missiles for its nuclear submarines. No British prime minister can afford to distance his or her country from the US to such an extent that the trust involved in such an arrangement is dissipated. After all, the US has given the UK the ability to destroy much of the American homeland, an act of trust with no parallel in history."

A few other facts that Ive learned over the years that have helped me understand the relationship:

1. Eating faggots is not considered the done thing in America.
2. Placing ticks in boxes in the US is likely to offend the tick.
3. Lever said in the US is – when translated into English – a kind of coat made from cows hide.
4. Lever said in the UK is – when translated into the US – a way of departing from a once loved female.
5. Herb in the US is a popular shortened name for Herbert when translated into English.
6. Aluminium in the UK translates to the US as a latin form of to iluminate.
7. A retainer in the US holds teeth, a retainer in the UK also holds teeth but only if you pay him or her to do so.
8. Swimmies in the US help provide bouyancy in water, swimmies in the UK are a form of trunk to be worn when swimming.
9. A trunk in the US is the back end of a car. In the UK a trunk is something you wear when swimming.
10. A boot in the UK is the back end of a car. The bootie in the US is a backend of a person.
11. A hood in the US is the front end of a car. A hood in the UK is the front end of a coat.
12. Bacon in the UK is a delicious form of pork – as succulent as it is tasty. Bacon in the US is a dried substance that is good for striking matches.
13. Pants in the US are worn outside of undergarments. Pants in the UK are always worn inside of ones trousers (unless you are Madonna or Cameo).
14. A basement in the UK is a place for storing coal. A basement in the US is a place for storing Canadians.
15. Ice cream in the US is actually made of cream. Ice cream in the UK is actually made out of corrigated cardboard.
16. In the UK a sandwich is a single slice of meat layered in bread. In the US it is the entire animal with the bread on the side.
17. In the UK a motor race involves turning corners. In the US this also means turning corners but usually only one way (left).
18. Over 95% of cars in the UK are manuals. Over 95% of cars in America are automatics.
19. Most distressed tourists in England are Americans attempting to drive manual cars on the wrong side of the road. Most distressed tourists in America are English attempting to eat sandwiches without understanding the concept of 'the box'.
20. The English drive on the left so they can hold a sword in their right hands as they pass attacking oncomers. Americans drive on the left because they wanted to annoy the invading English (true).

I have many many more to share – and over time I will. Thats it for now.

Happy thanksgiving everyone, I miss Rochesher as much as I miss England when Im away from it.