Dr. Neil Hair

I have two groups of students this quarter preparing for their submissions of mid term research papers, and this entertaining story from CNN on West Virginia's National Invitation Tournament recent win serves to remind students to check their papers carefully before submission. What may indeed be correctly spelled does not always confer the intended meaning. Still, these players look happy so one perhaps should'nt complain. It reminds me of my Cardiff days when I wrote a paper on public policy. My professor must have dined out on my inadvertent gaff for weeks given my last name. Always have an independent party read your work first…

So, I finally managed to sort out British TV from my British SlingMedia box. I am delighted with the result. The first night Rose and I spent hours looking through the channels – if you like BBC America you would CRY at the comedy and news features available – 400 channels of British Brilliance. I must have spent 6 hours this week watching BBC news 24 alone. Unfortunately the wife must have also spent 6 hours watching Coronation Street (the UKs longest running soap opera – the opening credits and tune are enough to bring me out in hives). Anyways, its just one more little example of how an expat can maintain touch with his homeland where ever he is. He can sit watching Brit TV, Brit Ads, drinking Brit beer thinking of Britain. It's a smaller world brought about by technology. No complaints here – oh and I can also watch Brit tv on my Pda as well with the mobile player

It's crisis time in the Hair household. It is 10pm on Monday night and the Wife and I decided to stay in and watch some TV. A big mistake. Only one thing has come from it – you've guessed it, Dr Neil Hair's top ten loathed adverts of all time.. for your pleasure and almost in order of play:

Metro Matress, not the sort of ad you want to see before heading off to bed – in fact – not the sort of advert you want to see full stop. I instantly hit the mute button before the chorus but its already too late – my mind is playing it in a continuous loop for the next two hours – yes it is probably me you see screaming obscenities out of the window of my car as I pass one of Pitsfords plazzas. Next is lovely William Mattar – who wants you to call him if youre hurt in a car. Dont worry – lines are open 24 hours every day which means you can call him straight after you call for an ambulance on 911 – 1-800-William Mattar! Speaking of cars, here's Geno – seems like a nice guy who wants to sell you car insurance and uses – of all things – a frog as his mascot. A Frog! Genius!! I dont know about you but when I think of car insurance I DO think of frogs! Then one of my all time favourites – "HIME THIIIINKING OF A NUMBER" – that lovable redhead who wants YOU to give them a call and find out your credit report score – you can EVEN print it out if you want to. I am also thinking of a number ginger – youve guessed it – the number of years I might get if I ever DO finally catch up with you in person. All is not lost – I get to laugh at the E-Harmony advert where they have paid a PhD to say something interesting like – the path to a happy love life is only 24 proven compatibility factors – makes me wanna hug my wife for not having had to resort to a FREE profile (normally $60 – $60 to tell you how hopeless you are and that you will die lonely with no friends). So, in the mood for romance and the advert turns to Marketplace liquor – 'WEVE GOT… FINE WINES FOR A SONG? Hows this for a song – anything by Marlyn MANSON involving some sort of pain!!! Now Im angry, and what better than any advert for SHOUT products where the annoying chap that seems to have dived into a bath of Rograin hair product starts SHOUTING about the cleaning abilities of his products. WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING LITTLE MAN?!! IT WONT GET IT ANY CLEANER!!! Ah a blissful state ensues with the reminder that D-Snore is a great product for reducing snoring – heck it can 'even ruin a romantic cruise' (important note to self), what better to use in conjunction than your Craftmatic adjustable bed? It seems this gent talks like he's on TV all the time – his poor wife. And to cap it off (number 11) – a reminder of America's glorious past from our friends Rochester Colonial, your 'window and door experts.' It leaves me actively searching for Robert Wagner to make it all right and restore my faith in American TV ads.

*Exit Neil through a door left.*

Its not often that I feel compelled to talk about a class before it's ended (my B2B e-marketing class at grad level last quarter by the way was amongst the best Ive ever had at RIT for instance and there were only 11 of us) – let alone only just started but week 1 of our online Marketing Concepts class needs some initial celebration in my humble opinion. In reverse order of importance: the technology is working well, Macromedia Breeze is an exceptional platform as is MyCourses for my needs as an instructor, I used Breeze meeting for my first live session with students and this worked really well. They were able to see me, converse with me in text based chat (preferred incidentally by the majority of online learning students as this means they can search through it, categorize it and of course drag and drop it into their notes) and hear me (the accent and dead pan sense of humor helps I am told). What has really pleased me though is the take up on discussions and the quality of ensuing debate. So much so that I turned off Englands dismal defeat to Wales on Saturday to tune into the discussion boards instead. Several students have posted lengthy reviews oozing quality on our discussion topics (a clear sign of passion) leaving me as an instructor to feel compelled to regularly check the boards as a result (compelled doesnt really explain it well enough – its really interesting to see what graduate students think about the big issues like – is marketing a philosophy or a discipline? – what do personal ethical and moral orientations place on ones ability to market certain products and so on). Im really excited about class – and hopefully (clearly actually) my students are too. One of the things that I love most about teaching online is this quality of interaction. Im not saying you dont tend to get it in a traditional class room situation, you do – but it's different – and there is only so much you can do in a constrained period of time. Online however, being able to consider fully, research, reflect and review your ideas before posting them seems to make a real difference in quality and hopefully the overall learning experience. Im really enjoying myself.

I saw on the BBC's site that the Commodore company is about to release a set of high end gaming machines after rising from the ashes of what was the worlds most popular computer (the C64). I must admit reading the article brought back very fond memories of wasting my time playing elite and drinking cream soda as a teenager in the UK. It got me thinking about the power of the brand and what this means to me. Everything about the C64 was positive, I forgave the shoddy performance of my cassette player (used to load games), the awfully slow external disk drive (about the same size as the computer) and the 5.25 floppies that went with it (recalling that a carefully placed hole punch would allow you to use the other side of the disk!). What ever happened to this company I thought to myself. Why did it fail so miserably? Why cant I get hold of a copy of pitstop II to play on the PC? Marketing managers working for this company should focus in on the power of the brand when it comes to promoting their wares. Ive never understood why their name wasnt synonymous with the playstations and Wiiiiiii's of today. One things for sure though, reading about it put a smile on my face – I might even buy one (or maybe just a T-Shirt with the logo on it).

Flying at least part of the flag for the United Kingdom in the skies is Virgin Atlantic. You may recall an easy decision I made on my last transatlantic flight – to avoid at all costs American carriers from here on in. Fed up with the poor service, the trollies that dont want to be there and certainly dont want YOU to be there, the $5 beer fiasco (not even real beer if my jaded recollection serves me right) oh and the fact that I had to loose a return ticket as dear old Delta wouldnt change the date for me – left me looking for another service. Well, I have found it and then some. The flight cost no more than a US carrier service and I was spoiled even flying economy from the moment I got onto the plane to go home. Its the little things that make the difference, being greeted like a civilized human being for one thing, a smile for another, a genuine desire to realize you have a CHOICE when you fly another still. The brand new airbus sported a number of enhancements over my last shoddy experience with Delta – the personalized entertainment system for one (over 100 cd's, 58 movies, internet and email facilities – tho costly – are available) and most importantly the food for two. Virgin seem to take a real pleasure in genuinely shocking its customers with food that is edible. Take for instance the little fuity pud they served me ('flirty little blackcurrant and raspberry' to be precise). This thing came in a shot glass with delightful packaging, so much so I noted down the website (http://www.frupuds.com/). It tasted DEVINE. I also noted that these can be procured at my favourite grocers back in the UK – Waitrose (eat your heart out Wegmans, this store is simply the best in its class). The design of the packaging and the logo really impressed me. Littel things like this leave a lasting impression on you – we're talking about a small desert for crying out loud and here I am blogging about it and yelling at people how wonderful the Virgin service is. The point is, small, seemingly immaterial experiences like these shape peoples perceptions in a big way. That little pudding probably cost Richard Branson less than a quid (yours for $2) and here I am giving him free publicity whilst bashing the competition (an upgrade would be nice next time if youre reading this Richard). Funny thing is, this little pud has also helped alter my impressions of travel – I dread – simply DREAD flying because of the way in which I am invariably treated. This experience has gone a long way towards restoring my faith in what was, years ago, a glorious experience.

Incidentally I still had to fly a US carrier to get to New York on my trip over. I waited in a cue for 20 minutes without even being acknowledged by the single service representative as she did her best to dissuade a customer from the will to live. When she was finished she took the wrong ticket from me (which needed to be reissued in New York) and beckoned me with a screeching 'NEXT'. I dont know how these people sleep at night knowing surely that their behavior is directly contributing to the poor image and unltimately the downfall of the US airline industry. Im not altogether sure they even care to be honest. Other things that impressed me by flying Virgin this trip:

1. The chief service manager (note – not 'hostess' which some including myself find offensive) reminded passengers that this was indeed a plane to London's Heathrow Airport and therefore now (the time of closing doors) would be a good time to alert a flight crew member if you were not intending on flying to London (my thoughts immediately went back to the US carriers employee back at the ticket issuing desk).
2. The chief service manager on approach reminded customers that this was England and that rain was therefore expected in heavy bouts until sometime in June.
3. Passengers were reminded by the captain that recognition of the choices of flight carrier exists and that he was more than happy to fly us 'home' again.
4. Passengers were reminded to take 'all items including small children' off of the plane before disembarking.

Humour is a wonderful thing – especially when the last laugh isnt on you.

A personal update, I am back large'ing it up in Blighty chowing down on propper curry, suppin decent ale and cleaning muck off my fathers 'perch' near the river Dart. I cant think of a better way to spend spring break! As much as I love the US its always nice to come home and see the family, recharge the accent, overdose on lovely food and drink and miss upstate New York in the snowy season. Amusingly, it has rained almost every day since I got here. Beats the snow of course. So, what observations about the land since I returned I hear you ask? Absolutely none to be honest, same old place, same old people and same old results with the Rugby (England suck). So I'm coming home.