Dr. Neil Hair

6 days and counting… My own raison d'etre.

Ah yes - where once there was a beautful vibrant woman, there is now a 3 headed monster.  The first head devours seating plans and picks its teeth with the best man, the second roars with rage and fury at florists and future mother-in-laws and the third is especially reserved for the husband-to-be, should he foolishly assume that life can carry on as normal prior to "nextbloodytuesday - whichisonlysupposedtobethemostimportantdayofourlivesandyoudon'tcare - you'drathergopaintballingwithyourmatesthantalkaboutcentrepieces".  And so the carnage continues until the morning after said nuptials when Bridezilla is gone forever.

And replaced with Wifezilla…

The carnage continues…

So, after 3400 miles, more pre-packed hot meals than a human being should ever be subjected to - I arrive back home. 1st things 1st one pays homage to Mr Red Bull (twice) and I jump on a train to Sheffield. Unpacked and armed with the fiancee I head off to buy food.  It amazes me that we Brits have such an appalling image on the world scene when it comes to food. The home of the garbage plate need take note. I have been deprived of real food for too long, the local mid sized Morrisons has more diversity of food on offer then both Henrietta and Pittsford Wegmans put together! I have missed my raisin and fennel bread, my super strong cheddar cheese (the sort that numbs your tongue, nothing as weak as that so called 'sharp' rubberised rubbish fobbed off onto unaware Americans), real - REAL sliced bacon that isn't the scraps left in the process (and no - it isn't like Canadian Bacon), a deli bar that contains more sliced meats then a shop that sells sliced meats and then… to a rousing chorus of Hendel's Messiah's Hallelujah! … the Beer isle.

I zone in to five little shelves of pure happiness. British Beer. 4 for £5 (about $9). I look for someone to hug but settle instead for a shopping trolley. Oh how I have missed the real stuff. And then into town on Sheffield's public transport system (we have one!) for a couple of pints and a real British Curry. One cannot even begin to describe the joy of a real Curry. A chicken Jalfrazi with extra green chillies served Asian style (additional Coriander). The nice chap at SB's hears about the wedding and furnishes us with two complimentary shots. It is great to be home, can't wait for a full English Breakfast later today. The only down side as far as I can see thus far is being wide awake at 4.30 in the bloody morning. I sound like some of my students at the end of the quarter.

To my internet marketing class. Thank you for a really wonderful experience this last quarter, rarely do you spend eleven weeks with such a positive bunch and not want it to end. I'm really proud of your accomplishments and seeing you perform for your clients on the last Thursday was amazing. I will miss you you LED'rs, Prentice the 17ths, Gallery Rs, Scrapbookers, Supacutters, Lovely Lamas, and Gamers.

I also want to thank my B2B e-commerce class for making my first run at this such a positive experience, I will also miss the Farmers, the Saddlestackers and the LED'rs who also did a fantastic job of managing their client's. I love my job and having students with such passion makes all the difference.

My thanks again and hopefully see you all again real soon.

Neil.

This time, old fashioned Yellow Pages… interestingly Yellow Pages hasnt launched a major TV commercial campaign in quite some time.

Marcia Morphy had the following to say about me in the latest edition of RIT's news and events. Looking forward to being on stage at Friday's convocation to receive my award.

So you've spent hours working on your site, its all spangly - what next? Some thoughts for you on preparing your overall image:

1. What about taking your site and building a CV offline around it? If for instance you've used a central graphic, why not use the same on your CV and build an image from this (such as call out boxes denoting aspects of your CV such as achievements and so on). Now granted, you're not a graphics design student, but remember you are a marketer so demonstrating your ability to innovatively market yourself is an important indicator to an employer.

2. Same goes for Business Cards and of course your email signature. Don't forget to add details of Skype and any IM programme you use (a technologically positive image ok?).

3. As you're graduating you really should now consider upgrading the look and feel of your social networking presence. I of course mean myspace.com or facebook.com. There is no reason why you cant incorporate aspects of your site within these. Again the reason? Personal branding that presents a consistent image. Thinking of showing a more personal you on these social networking sites? Do so by all means, but after you get the job.

4. Remember the purpose of all this, if you receive a compliment from a prospective - make clear it's purpose, you're a firm believer that if you're to market anything in this world, you'd better be able to market yourself. And then remember to thank them.

I very nearly died laughing when I came across this. Anyone who has sat a 'first' class with me will no doubt find it amusing. I can't wait to be home for a while… *sigh* just a sad Marketer I guess, looking forward to some decent adverts. Vinnie and Angelo eat your hearts out.

Ah Graduation! finally a chance for the finer things in life… my top ten must haves as a graduating student would be;

1. A Mont Blanc Le Grande ball point pen. For the odd occasion where you have to write something.
2. A Krups Cafe Duomo. Because you now have to get up at 7am every single day and can't use your 'miss one class without medical certification' get out of jail free card.
3. A Philips HeartStart Home Automated External Defibrillator. For the first time you set that alarm for 7am - and then again at 8pm when you climb back into bed 6 hours before you used to.
4. A Wenger Swiss Business Tool (red of course), because the real business world needs a swiss army knife / hole punch / stapler now and again.
5. Stealth Surfer II USB 2.0. So you can continue to post your love notes to BigSexyLuvvur on myspace and keep your job.
6. Schott's Original Miscellany. Because entertaining at dinner parties not longer involves semi nudity or shooting beer cans. Dude.
7. For men: The Metrosexual Guide to Style - Michael Flocker (because green shirts just wont get you promoted) For women: A Guide to Elegance - Genevieve Antoine Dariaux (because more then one ring on each hand [wedding bands and engagement rings accepted] is bling, besides, you no longer have to worry about roomies stealing them).
8. A subscription to Real Simple. Because empty beer and / or wine bottles as decoration and washing baskets as a means of storage just wont cut it in the real world, and besides, youve now got money and have entered the 'material' part of your life.
9. A digital cable subscription, so you have something to do with your evenings now you dont have to cram or write papers, discover the Travel Channel, Fine Living and The Food Channel all in one evening.
10. Feast - Nigella Lawson, because OH MY GOD the Boss and her husband are coming over next weekend and Pizza from Pontillos is going to get me sacked.